Picky, picky

While we were in the mountains we had a conversation with my MIL about this Christmas.  We are spending this Christmas day with CSP’s side of the family.  MIL asked what did we think about a Christmas goose for dinner?  I’d only ever heard about Christmas geese in Christmas stories and carols and thought that they only ate geese until turkey and ham was invented.

CSP & I exchanged a knowing glance that did not go unnoticed by MIL.  She asked what was going on and we admitted that if she were to serve goose that we’d be eating before we came over for dinner.  This led to the admission that we’ve pretty much made a habit of stopping at Jack in the Box on the way to dinner at their house.  A lot.  What can I say?  They cook weird food.  And it’s not just me.  CSP has enjoyed many a road burger on his way to his parents’ house for dinner.

So MIL said we could stop being polite and just tell her what we don’t like to eat.  She asked me to write up a list.  I pulled out my new, handy notebook from Carolina Pad (more on that later) and started writing.  And writing.  Who knew I was this picky?

Here is my list.  Please tell me I’m not the only one out there who’s a picky eater!

  • olives
  • asparagus
  • oysters
  • mussels
  • venison, bison, any wild game meats
  • sushi or tartar – no raw meats for me!
  • clams
  • peas
  • capers
  • crawfish/crayfish
  • carrots -unless they are cooked with a roast in the roast juice OR served sweet with a glaze and ham
  • peanut butter as an ingredient -I love peanut butter on its own, just not cooked.  Like peanut butter pie or cookies.  However Nutter Butters are just fine
  • chocolate cake
  • chocolate cookies
  • whole chocolate -like in bar form
  • peanuts -unless boiled Southern style & served in a paper bag
  • horseradish
  • radishes -although I did design my prom date’s boutonniere and it was a radish.  It was rad.  It was also 1991.  Don’t judge.
  • lobster -I’ll eat the tail but I’m not fighting through all those arms and legs for the rest of the meat.  Plus I don’t want all that juice touching the other stuff on my plate. Grosses me out.
  • crabs -I’ll eat the legs.  As for the rest, see lobster.
  • coleslaw
  • cold pasta -so no pasta salad
  • cold veggies- no cold zucchini or cauliflower or broccoli.  I love all those things, just cooked please.
  • free floating corn – I love corn on its own.  Please don’t include it in soup or salsa, etc.
  • bleu cheese – on its own or in dressing form
  • herring
  • thousand island dressing
  • french dressing
  • insects – hey, my MIL majored in French.  You never know.
  • wine – except wine coolers and a sweet reisling
  • most fish except tilapia or non fishy smelling white fish like at Captain D’s
  • beer – except as an ingredient like in chili or batter
  • deli or specialty mustard – plain yellow for me
  • mashed potatoes – it’s the consistency.  I’m an adult. I don’t want to eat anything hot that resembles baby food.  I’ll smash them myself.
  • cold potatoes – rules out potato salad unless it’s my mom’s
  • peppers  – of any kind.  I can tolerate a green bell pepper if it’s been grilled to death
  • raw onions
  • endive
  • spinach – unless fried or creamed or in artichoke dip
  • most sea life – I like shrimp, scallops, calamari, and crab legs
  • duck
  • goose
  • avacado
  • lima beans
  • butter beans
  • collards -I KNOW, I’m Southern.  And I HATE them
  • runny eggs – and I’m only eating chicken eggs.  You can keep your quail eggs to yourself.
  • okra
  • organ meat – no liver or giblets for me
  • refried beans
  • hot lettuce
  • coffee or coffee flavored things – but I LOVE the smell.  Weird, huh?
  • free floating beans – except in chili. In which case they must be black beans.  No navy, kidney, or pinto.
  • most sausages – unless in patty form with the exception of brats & chicken sausage
  • egg drop soup
  • shrimp salad
  • French toast – I imagine if I had some really well made French toast I might like it but I have yet to meet the chef to whip that up for me
  • mayonnaise
  • Jello – no ground up horse bones for me
  • club soda
  • sparkling water
  • bloody marys
  • tomato juice
  • hominy
  • anchovies
  • tomato based bbq sauce
  • Spam
  • beets
  • hearts of palm
  • tarter sauce
  • vegetable soup
  • veal
  • lamb
  • frog legs
  • parsnips
  • turnips – the veggie or the greens
  • watercress
  • cheetos – although I do like the cheese poofs
  • edamame

That’s it!  What don’t you like?

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27 thoughts on “Picky, picky

  1. OMG Shannon I laughed so hard when I read this list. I considered myself somewhat of a picky eater until I read this.

    I agree with a lot of those.

    But mashed potatoes? And chocolate cake? Refried beans? C’mon! 🙂

    P.S. You know that I grew up vegetarian, but on top of that my family is also Norwegian and this is the traditional Christmas Eve meal for Norwegians:
    http://www.fromnorway.net/norwegian_food/199910/foodcultureone.htm

    Blech. We always stopped at McDonald’s for something to eat before visiting my family.

    I’m sorry I haven’t called. I have been feeling sick(see my blog) and the time change is screwing me up. It was 2:00 a.m. your time when I thought about calling last night. I was afraid I would wake you up.

  2. Ok, hmmm. I, too, think of myself as a picky eater, and I share many of your dislikes. One dietary law: If it lived in the water, I don’t want to eat it. Fish defecate and fornicate in the same water they live in. Ewww. And they smell. I think the only thing chocolate I don’t like is dark chocolate (and weird stuff like chocolate covered ants). In fact, my other dietary law is this: if it can’t be made edible by deep frying, covering it in salsa or chocolate then it just wasn’t intended for human consumption. So cauliflower is absolutely inedible in my book. I like olives – black or green. And my very favorite pizza is peanutbutter cookie at Larry’s Pizza in Bryant, AR. I think it’s a hoot that you ate BEFORE going to the inlaws.

  3. DUDE! You are a totally picky eater! I think you would have been better giving her a list of what you WILL eat 🙂

    p.s. I’m with you on the herring 😉

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  5. When I first started reading, I thought it wasn’t too bad until I scrolled down..and down..and down. LOL! What do you have against chocolate? My sister-in-law hates peas too.

    Me? I hate pickels and watermelon. As for peanut butter, I can’t stand to eat it alone but I’ll eat it if it’s in something. Some seafood I wouldn’t eat.

  6. LOL. Did you actually hand her that list? What did she say? That list is absolutly crazy. Seriously, Shanny. You have diatery issues. Mashed potatos? Sausages? Mayo? Chocolate?! What does this leave you left to eat?

    The only things I don’t really eat are seafood (I don’t eat anything from the sea) and mustard.

  7. okay, here are the things on your list that i WILL eat (everything else, i’m with you): carrots (only if they are roasted to death), peanut butter (any shape or form, but only all natural kind), chocolate cake and cookies, peanuts (except for raw), crab (crab cakes only), cold pasta, wine (but i don’t like wine coolers or sweet reisling), fish (i will eat some, but like only a couple of bites), mashed potatoes, peppers, raw onion, spinach (raw in a salad or if it’s in quiche or lasagna), coffee, sausage (chicken only), french toast, cheetos…soooo, i don’t think you are too weird or picky.

  8. omg I about died laughing when I saw that! My friends tease me about being picky and a wuss since I can’t eat spicy (hot!) things, why on earth would you want to eat something that burns your mouth, throat and stomach?
    I agree with you on capers, olives, mussels, clams, craw/crayfish (EW), french toast (i make it really well, just can’t stand to eat it!), beets, veal, turnips, raw onions, radish or horseradish (spicy), insects and blue cheese.

    Most of what you have up there I will eat and quite I a few I have never had: endives, collard greens, hominay(?), watercress, goose or duck.
    My mom hates mashed potatoes too, she says it is a textured thing. 🙂

  9. ZOMG. You are really picky. I mean really. Just wanted you to be aware. LOL!

    I can’t think of one thing right now that I wouldn’t eat at someone’s house – that someone would actually serve. I mean, I wouldn’t eat pig feet, but who would serve that?

  10. You can’t be serious. Shannon, you are missing out on *SO* many amazing dishes!!! To each their own, and I totally respect that, but … damn! I’m with Margie. What *DO* you eat? LOL! 🙂

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  12. Word.
    I have a whole laundry list that’s almost as long as yours, so I won’t bore you with them all. The ones that I consider biggies, meaning I will change my order in a restaurant or choose not to eat at all, are:

    Chitterlings
    Offal (any organ meat or sweet bread)
    Miracle Whip
    Italian Sausage (well, really fennel flavored anything)
    Blue cheese – crumbles, chunks, or dressing
    Bottled Ranch dressing

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  14. Wow! Just wow! I thought my in-laws were picky eaters, but you win hands down. If we ever get to meet in person, I’ll be sure to let you pick the restaurant. 😉

  15. LOL. you make me smile..
    hmmm my list is short

    1. powdered sugar-unless its mixed into things
    2. capers
    3. dry crackers and cookies
    4. raw oysters (I have eaten fried and liked them)
    5. beans (except refried)
    6. any kind of boiled meat.

  16. HAHAHA! finally, someone who is pickier than me.
    i refuse to eat onions & most foods that include them, cooked or raw. it really is not good enough to pick them out.
    i also do not eat mayonnaise or any food containing it, so that excludes many types of salads, dips, and the list goes on.
    i can’t stand cooked green, leafy things including cabbage, spinach, collards, etc.
    i don’t like the way tomatoes feel in my mouth, but tomato sauce, pizza sauce, marinara, etc. is fine.
    peaches and cantaloupes gross me out, too.
    funny post!

  17. You know what bothers me? That I actually thought I was a “worldly eater” until I read this list and pretty much agreed with everything you said. LOL
    My worst foods — that literally make me gag at the site (I can’t even stand to watch other people eat them):
    Jumbo lima beans
    Okra
    Brussel Sprouts
    Oysters

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