So today I went to my very first sex toy party. It was at my friend Kim’s house and she lives at the end of my street so I didn’t have to go far to browse self pleasuring devices, whips, and sex swings. On a Sunday. Oy. It was a lot of fun and there were tons of squeals and giggles. Of course I was a guinea pig (since I know the consultant) and she sent me into the bathroom with a q-tip and some Xscream cream. Things got a little tingly after that! One girl brought her mother in law, who lives with her! I would DIE. D I E DIE. There are some things in that catalog I still just don’t understand. Like things that go up your bum. I’m way too prissy to be cleaning poo off of plugs and stuff.
I came home to find CSP at the computer looking up baseball stats.
Hey. (pause, suspicious look) Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh my God, you’re all horned up from that sex toy party aren’t you?
What do you mean?
Sara was the same way! (he was at my sister’s house hanging out with our BIL when she came home from her first party) Did you buy anything? I told you not to buy anything.
I didn’t buy much. (no electronics, just some body glitter and what not)
Oh my God, the black bag! Yep! I knew it! Get off me. Come back when you really want me and aren’t all horny cause of some machines being sold at your girlfriend’s house!