Mr. Dependable

So today I went to my very first sex toy party.  It was at my friend Kim’s house and she lives at the end of my street so I didn’t have to go far to browse self pleasuring devices, whips, and sex swings.  On a Sunday.  Oy.  It was a lot of fun and there were tons of squeals and giggles.  Of course I was a guinea pig (since I know the consultant) and she sent me into the bathroom with a q-tip and some Xscream cream.  Things got a little tingly after that!  One girl brought her mother in law, who lives with her!  I would DIE.  D  I   E  DIE.  There are some things in that catalog I still just don’t understand.  Like things that go up your bum.  I’m way too prissy to be cleaning poo off of plugs and stuff.

I came home to find CSP at the computer looking up baseball stats.

Hey Honey.

Hey. (pause, suspicious look)  Why are you looking at me like that?

Like what?

Oh my God, you’re all horned up from that sex toy party aren’t you?

What do you mean?

Sara was the same way! (he was at my sister’s house hanging out with our BIL when she came home from her first party)  Did you buy anything?  I told you not to buy anything.

I didn’t buy much.  (no electronics, just some body glitter and what not)

Oh my God, the black bag!  Yep!  I knew it!  Get off me.  Come back when you really want me and aren’t all horny cause of some machines being sold at your girlfriend’s house!

12 thoughts on “Mr. Dependable

  1. HA HA HA HA HAHA…. I can’t stop laughing!! Get off of me!! Ha ha ha ha!! Poor CSP!

    And there is no way ON EARTH that I would go to one of those parties with my MIL to be OR my Mom. (or anyone else’s mom i know) TOO CREEPY FOR WORDS!!!

  2. OMG hahaha I am trying not to scream out loud at work! That is awesome! I went to my first (and so far only one) a few years ago. I went with my close friend who is my husband’s ex and her boyfriend’s sister. I personally had no problem but the sister was freaking out about it. Oh well.

    That is so funny!!

  3. mamamichele says:

    **pause… suspicious look** omg.

    I laughed so hard Steven came and read what you had said. He shook his head and goes “poor guy, he didnt have a chance” lol

    As to the mother in law thing? hmm If I ever wanted to dispose of my MIL.. Id just have to take her to one of those parties. Shed die.

  4. I’ve never been to a sex toy party, but it sounds like a blast. And Terry doesn’t care how or why I ever get “horned up” he just takes advantage of it!!!! I can’t believe CSP turned down a shot! *laugh*

  5. Kendra says:

    I am so ignorant. I had no idea that people have sex toy parties as they would Pampered Chef or Tupperware. I had to follow the link to see what that was all about. Amazing… and somewhat bizarre.

  6. LOLOLOL I have been to quite a few of those..as a matter of fact my MIL just had one and I went ( so funny Brad wanted no details about this party with his Mother having it!) and the Funny thing is my MIL said…What ever you want I will just add it to my order!!! WHAT??????? R U KIDDING ME? Pfft ya like I want her knowing what I bought for her Son and I??? LOL No thanks I am good I can buy my own items thank you…

    aren’t those parties the funniest??? I have never laughed so had in my life!

  7. Lisa @ Pug Posse…I can’t read your blog for some reason. It’s locked me out. Help! I miss reading your blog! :(

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