Ass hands

Andrea asked about a post I wrote a few years ago that involved me trying to take a photo of my engagement ring.  I dug up the post but the original photos are lost out there in internet space due to the photo hosting site I used to use closing down.  But I took a new picture to give you an idea.

Lisa says I have more stories than anyone she knows. Well get ready to hear one now. I didn’t start this blog til August of 2001, and by then Jon and I had been married 5 months. So I haven’t documented all of our pre-marital escapades. I thought with Valentine’s day coming up it’s a perfect time to tell you all about how my newly engaged excitement almost got me banned from Target.

Jon proposed in August of 1999. Waaaay before we had a digital camera. A friend who lives in another state wanted to see my ring. So I took my regular camera and turned my left hand toward me and took a picture. I took the film to Target and went back a couple hours later to pick it up. I rifled through my pictures and couldn’t find the ring picture, or the index print. So I called the photo dude over and asked where it was. He checked my name and looked at me with squinty eyes and said “We don’t develop those kinds of pictures.” I was all confused. I said “You don’t develop pictures of jewelry?” Now he was confused. So he went to his Offensive Photo Drawer and pulled out my missing prints.

**Now is when I need to describe to you something you may not have given much thought to. With a traditional camera, the viewfinder is just a few millimeters off from the lens. So anything you take a picture of is just ever so slightly off from what you saw in the viewfinder. Especially close up shots. And you don’t know how the picture turns out until you pick them up from the developer. Back to the story.

Photo Dude lays my prints down on the counter. I was going for a picture like the one Lisa took of her engagement ring.

But what I ended up with was what you get when your camera takes a picture of your short, chubby fingers instead of your ring: Ass hands!

Our friends loved hearing about this later that night and one gave me the oh so glam nickname of Ass Hands. I had to hear about that one for quite a while!

I’m one of THOSE people now

Yep, I’m now one of those people that I used to make fun of in my head. The ones you see driving or walking around in stores that look like they are talking to themselves. I am now a Bluetooth user. I’ve got a big drive coming up next week and I wanted a wireless, hands free headset. The one that came with my phone always pops out of my ear and the wire gets tangled. I read some reviews and people seem to like the Jabra headsets. Then I found the one I liked on this site for only $19.99! Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket And it comes with 33 different inserts to change the design of the headset. I’ve got the skulls in right now for Halloween. So cute!
It’s really easy to use until I take it off and put it in my purse. I don’t like being the person walking around a store talking to the air. But then yesterday while visiting my Gmommy at the nursing home my phone rang. I picked it up and said hello but I couldn’t hear anything. Dag! The Bluetooth! So I started yelling into my purse “Hold on Morgan!” while digging around for the headset. I’m sure I looked classy and graceful. My Mom and Gmommy were laughing so hard at me I could barely move my arms. I tend to lose arm strength while laughing.
I think maybe CSP’s nickname of “Techno Geek” really fit me at that moment!

ABCs of Me

Snagged from Susan (post and title) like 12 years ago and am just getting around to filling it out. Just a neato little way to get to know a little something about someone. Plus the other stuff I’m working on right now (like baby shower presents) can’t be blogged about til post shower. Play along if you’d like!

A is for age:
34

B is for Beer:
None for me. Don’t like it. I’ll take a fun fruity drink please.

C is for Career:
Hmmm, had one of those but wasn’t cut out for cubeland. Still not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

D is for my Dog’s Name:
Kiki & Molly
E is for Essential Item I Use Everyday:
Lip balm. I’m seriously addicted

F is for Favorite T.V. Show:
Grey’s Anatomy, House, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes. Plus my crap tv.

G is for Favorite Game:
Cranium

H is for Hometown:
Moved a lot growing up. I’ve now been in Charlotte (or a suburb) for 17 years so that counts as a hometown now.

I is for Instruments I Play:
iPod

J is for Favorite Juice:
Cranberry

K is for Whose Butt I’d Like To Kick:
No one today – but it is still early

L is for the Last Place I Ate:

Local Mexican restaurant

M is for Marriage:
6-1/2 years to CSP. He’s the best.

N is for my Name:
Shannon

O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:
June-July 2007 for hysterectomy

P is for People I was With Today:

Candice and her kids, CSP

Q is for Quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not in just some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson
A Return To Love (1992), Chapter 7

R is for Biggest Regret:

Very few

S is for Sport:
To play: any lawn game like croquet or badminton. To watch: football on tv, baseball at Camden Yards

T is for Time I Woke Up Today:
8:10 am. I swear! I had to take my car in for an oil change

U is for Current Underwear:
Classic white Fruit of the Loom

V is for Vegetable You Love:
broccoli

W is for Worst Habit:
running late

X is for X-rays I Have Had:
at this point I think my whole body

Y is for Yummy Food You Ate Today:

chicken chimichanga

Z is for Zodiac:
Leo

Yo, where’s the party at?

I had a Pampered Chef party yesterday and it was a big success! I had a really good turn out. Everyone seemed to like each other and chatted away. The food went over well and I got a good amount of sales. I love having parties and putting out food on pretty serving dishes. And a party’s not a party til someone gets naked! In this case it was my potty training nephew Joey who hasn’t quite grasped the idea yet that your pants can rest on your ankles while you take care of business. You don’t have to strip. So he came out of the bathroom bottomless! Molly and Kiki had a great time and loved all the extra attention. Of course I was too busy running around getting drinks and stuff to remember to take any pictures. I hate when I forget pics!

Also,  If you would still like to place an order, it’s not too late!  You don’t want to miss out on the great $10 sale on cookbooks!  Click on this link 
and type in my name as your host.  (email me if you don’t have my last name)
I’m closing my order out this weekend so please try and get your orders in in the next few days. Thanks so much!
I did remember at the last minute to photograph my famous Texi Mexi Chicken Cups. Of course they are in the Tupperware headed for the fridge and not presented with garnish on a platter, but you get the idea. Texi Mexi Chicken CupsThese are always a big hit. So I thought I’d share the recipe. Well, I don’t actually follow a recipe and I’m a terrible measurer so bear with me! Continue reading

Just me & da boys

Yesterday I took my nephews for a few hours while my sister & BIL moved some stuff into their new house. Jake at MexicasaWe went to the dollar store and I let the boys pick out a prize. While I was there I bought a bunch of cards for the HoHoHo project. I mean, you can’t beat a whole box of cards for just $1!
After the dollar store (where the boys picked glow in the dark magic wands) we went to the farmers’ market where I bought 2 ginormous mums. The farmers’ market man (I guess the farmer?) was super nice and gave us all a free apple each. I swung back by the house and dropped off the flowers before we headed out to lunch.
We tried this Mexican joint I’d never been to before. The boys are Gluten sensitive so we can’t eat just anywhere, and luckily Mexican is more corn based. Jake kept asking where was the play area? I told him we were at a grown up restaurant. The boys were really good. The cutest little face ever! Then something amazing happened. Two police officers came in for lunch and sat at the next table. You would think Superman himself had just walked in. Jake and Joey were so star struck!
Jake burst into a string of questions. Where’s his gun? Where are the bad guys? What’s that thing on his belt? I promised the boys if they finished their lunches we could go talk to the policemen. I don't think I like lemon That really got them eating.
So we walked over and I introduced ourselves to the policemen. Jake & Joey’s jaws dropped to the floor and they just stared. I tried to encourage them to ask their questions. Blank stare. So cute. The coppers were really nice and talked with the boys and showed them their equipment. They even let me take a picture with them. Jake & Joey meet 2 Policemen & are star struck
When the cops left Joey ran to the window to watch them get into the squad car. Jake followed their every move then sighed and said “There they go.” It was so sweet!

After lunch we went to the grocery store and the boys had so much fun riding in the race car buggy. We swung by the house for a minute for me to unload the groceries then I took the boys home. I had them from 10-2:30 and I hardly got a thing done! Everything takes so much longer with kids! And Lord help me if I tried to help Joey up in his carseat. He’d have to get all the way out of the truck and start over. Oy. But they were so good and so much fun so I certainly didn’t mind!  While driving around they would point their wands at me and magically make me do animal sounds when they said the magic words “dabra adabra!”.   Close enough.  ;)

mememememe

I found this over at Kris’s blog and since my brain isn’t functioning well enough right now to write something original and witty you get this. I know, I know. You deserve better. But it is late and my Pampered Chef party is looming and I have too much to do around the house. So here goes….

The phone rings, who do you want it to be? Lisa. It’s been too long since I’ve heard her voice. We email every day, but it isn’t the same. We’ve just been too busy. And if she can’t call then Jeff Goldblum. I’d like to invite him over for dinner.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? It depends. Since it’s been so hot this summer, I’ll admit I’ve been a lazy beggar and I’ve left it out in the lot.

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Yeah. Um, I’m the talker. For sure.

Do you take compliments well? I do and I love them. So bring em on! Although in my head I’m arguing the compliment the whole time.

Do you play Sudoku? I tried it and it just hurt my eyes to look at it. But I felt pretty smart figuring it out.

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? OMG are you kidding me? I don’t like to be dirty and just the phrase “alone in the wilderness” makes me tremble with fear. I’d probably throw myself off a cliff so I wouldn’t have to drag out the suffering. I am not eating bark to survive.

Continue reading

1 2 3 4

m_820c3375553007f887ac53eb0316a924.jpgFirst it was the new iPod Nano commercial. Couldn’t stop singing it, but I didn’t know what I was singing. So I Googled it and then spent my 99 cents at iTunes. Now I really can’t stop singing it. And the video? One long shot. Amazing. Best one I’ve seen since OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again”.

And hey, if you didn’t read my previous post, please do.  And please spend about $3 and 15 minutes helping our troops.  If I found out you were on the other side of the world on Christmas with no mail or Christmas cheer from home, I’d totally send you a card.

HO-lotta cheer to send

One of my best friends in this world is Susan. She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. Susan is Olivia’s mom and Will’s wife. Will has already served one tour in Iraq and is up for redeployment again. Susan sent out the following request for Christmas cards for our troops today and I am doing all I can to help her make this a HUGE success. I’ve forwarded her message to everyone in my address book. I posted this on my mom’s forum. And now I’m coming to you, my dear bloggy friends. Please help me to help her to help our troops.

Check out the details from Susan below:

I know it’s only September but it’s not too early to starting thinking about Christmas cards! This is going to everyone in my address book so if you don’t want to participate, please delete the email and sorry for the trouble. If you would like to, please email me and let me know you’re a go for spreading a HO-lotta Christmas cheer.

You may or may not know that I’m on a NATIONWIDE request for letters for our troops. I have emailed every school system nationwide and am getting a lot of good feedback and commitments for letters. Well, when sending out my request, I did not specifically ask for Christmas cards due to possible religious issues. Some teachers have asked about it and I’ve told them yes, it’s fine. So, now I’m reaching out to all of you for some additional Christmas cheer. There are going to be approximately 150,000 troops deployed over the Christmas season PLUS those who are being treated at various VA hospitals throughout the country and overseas. If everyone I’ve sent this to will go to the dollar store and buy one box of 20 cards, sign them and send them to me, I will have received over 1600 cards! If you don’t want to sign any, that’s fine. You can still participate by sending me UNSIGNED cards to send to the soldiers for THEM to sign and mail back home. Better yet, do both :)

The note is simple: Thanking them for their service and wishing them a Merry Christmas. The best thing: You can put the same thing in every card.

I will challenge you…I have 250 Christmas cards on order for me to sign and mail. If everyone sends me 20 plus my 250 that will put us at over 1,900 cards! That’s 1,900 service members who will have a special note at Christmas time.

Buying the cards at the dollar store will cost you $1, maybe $2 for postage and 30 minutes of time…how can you say no?

For UNSIGNED cards, I need them no later than October 10. It takes 2-3 weeks to reach the soldiers and then probably 3 weeks to get them back to the U.S. due holiday mail slow downs.

SIGNED cards I will need no later than November 10 to sort and get mailed by the end of November. Don’t forget to have your kids draw pictures, too! If you include your address in the card, you may get a reply back! I can’t guarantee it but it’s a possibility. It’s fabulous to get a letter back from them. Makes my heart skip a beat every time.

*No postage necessary on the individual cards. These are going to be included in care packages or will be sent in a large envelope to different units.
*You can seal them or not – it doesn’t matter.
*You can address them to “Dear Hero” or something along those lines. I stray from “Dear Soldier” because they go to Marines, airmen and sailors, too.
*No need to put an address on the outside of the envelope, unless you want to put yours in the return address spot. Like I mentioned, they will be shipped to groups of individuals in one large envelope.

Let me know if anyone has any other questions.

I look forward to a HO-lotta “YES, COUNT ME IN” replies.

Thanks in advance -

Susan

****Now, I deleted her home address from this post because I don’t want crazies showing up at her house. But if you’d like to help just leave a comment or email me and I’ll hook you up. Thank you so much! Y’all ROCK!

Lies and deception

OK, so a few things to tell you. First of all we had the exterminator come out to deal with the ant situation I told you guys about. And while the bug man was here he told me that cornstarch doesn’t kill ants, it just feeds them. The internets lied to me! But now the ants are gone and I’m not having nightmares about ants swarming me in my sleep.

Secondly, I made a big hair mistake recently and I feel like it is my duty as a responsible blogger to warn you so you do not suffer as I have. So I’ve always wondered what I’d look like with dark hair. I’ve been blonde pretty much my whole life, save a strawberry blonde spell as a little girl. But I didn’t really want to pay a professional to do it and spend lots of $$ on something I might not like. So a recent trip to T@rget found me on the hair color aisle and I came home with Light Amber Brown. The girl on the box looked cute and so happy. I went home with my purchase but didn’t have time to take the plunge. Finally I had an afternoon free, just a few days before my weekend with Olivia. I mixed up the solution and went to town. My head burned like the fires of hell (darn sensitive skin!) but I suffered for the full 25 minutes of processing time. I showered and washed it all out, stepped out of the shower and about stroked out right in my bathroom. My hair was not Light Amber Brown. It was Hot Hooker Reddish Pub Wench Dark Brown Almost Gasp Black! I thought, maybe it just looks dark cause it’s wet. Silly girl. I dried it and gazed in horror as the blood ran from my face but left the color in my hair. Light Amber Brown my ass! I looked nothing, NOTHING, like the girl on the box. Not happy, not carefree! I’m too pale for that kind of hair! My skin is too pink! Holy Hell what was I thinking? I looked like I was wearing a helmet made of blood and clay. And despair.

I called my hair girl immediately. She’s from London and her accent helps to calm me.

Hey, um, so I need to make an appointment.

Ok darling, let me get my calendar.

Ok. So you might really have your work cut out for you. And can my appointment be soon? Really soon?

What. Did. You. Do?

Awkward, guilty pause.

Oh no. You tried to go dark didn’t you?

Yes?

Did you use permanent color?

Yes. Please don’t kill me.

You are so lucky I can fix you.

CSP came home that night from work, kissed me hello, chatted with me about our days and went a full 15 minutes without noticing. I finally said “Are you going to say anything?”

What? About your hair?

Yeah. What do you think?

Um…..No.

He’s a man of few words, CSP.

Friday I went to my hair girl’s house and as promised she fixed me. I pulled out my camera on the way there and snapped a picture. Please just look at my hair as I have no makeup on and am still shocked an appalled at my own reflection. Also my hair had lightened a bit after a week with shampooing with as close to turpentine as I could find in my shower. I went from this: I'm 34 today to this:So not Light Amber Brown Thank the Lord for my wonderful, amazing hair girl Sarah. I am not all the way back to blonde, more of a brond, as it will take a few more weeks before Light Amber Brown My Ass fades all the way out of my head. It will take much, much longer before it fades from my memories and nightmares.