Public Service Announcement

What can happen when you’re heavily medicated and suddenly have lots of free time:

Jon: (as we’re drifting off to sleep) Why are there french fries on the deck and in the birdfeeder?

Me: Well, you cooked them and didn’t eat them and I didn’t want to be wasteful so I thought the birds would like a treat.

J: Yeah, well I saw a bird try to pick one up and he looked at me and said “This is not birdseed. This is a *%& french fry.” Then he gave me the finger and flew off.

Me: Birds don’t have fingers.

We’re back from Florida! The trip went well- stor…

We’re back from Florida! The trip went well- stories and pictures to come. In the meantime, please email me if you’d like for me to send you a Halloween card from the pugs. It’s a real cute one this year! heyshanny at hotmail dot com You don’t have to email me if you’re already on the list- you’re on the list if you’ve gotten one before. Thanks!

Today my friend Holly will marry Philip at the Lig…

Today my friend Holly will marry Philip at the Lightner Museum in St. Augustine, Florida. I’m sure the wedding will be gorgeous and I’ll post pictures when we return home. Jon has an aunt and uncle who happen to live in St. Augustine, so we’re staying with them. Monday we’re driving down to my hometown of Lakeland, Florida to visit my Nanny & Pappy. I’m going to try and post via audio blog while I’m away, so we’ll see how that goes. That’s all for now!

The Wedding Jewelry

I’ve finished with the jewelry! Holly said she wanted something dainty, so I hope they fit the bill. Let me know what you think! Click on the pictures for the larger, close up version. I put 3 little blue beads on the back of Holly’s necklace for her something blue. Her beads are clear, frosted, or silver lined glass (for some reason some of them look a little gold) And here’s the completed bridesmaids’ set:

As far as me selling my jewelry, I’d love to one day, I just need to get an inventory together. I have a bajillion beads and a ton of ideas, I just need to put all that together. I’ve been so worried about this wedding jewelry though- I hope she’ll like it, and that it’s dressy enough.

So many more things to do before we leave…and we leave so soon! Yikes!

Wedding Bracelet

Wedding Bracelet
Originally uploaded by heyshanny.

This is one of the bracelets I’m making for Holly’s wedding this weekend. It’s for either me or the other bridesmaid to wear. I hope they like it! The dresses are champagne/ wet cardboard colored so it should go nicely. I matched the beads to the beads on the bodice and then added some other beads to jazz it up a bit. I used a clear wire and glued the beads in place so they are supposed to look like they are floating on your skin. Now I just need to finish the earrings and make Holly’s jewelry and we’ll be all set!

In an effort to cheer myself up and while doing so…

In an effort to cheer myself up and while doing so preparing for my friend Holly’s wedding this weekend, I’ve spent some quality me time at the salon lately. First there was the hair cutting and highlighting and that all turned out quite nicely. Then I moved on to Lee Anne’s room for my leg & brow wax. Let me tell you something people, if you’re ever going through a hard thing, go to the salon. I was there from 10-4 the other day and there was much talking, hugging, and crying. And your salon ladies are totally objective and confidential. Cheapest therapy I’ve ever paid for.

You may remember me mentioning the horrific dress I have to wear Saturday. They call it champagne colored but we all know it’s wet cardboard or nude pantyhose take your pick. In the dress I was various shades of the same color from head to toe with no way to tell that I was not in fact wearing a full body stocking. So Lee Anne talked me into letting her give me a Fantasy Tan. I got the lightest one available, Sunspray light. I exfoliated in the tub the night before then went in to get sprayed. After you get your base tan, she sprays a pink tinted moisturizer all over you that will wash off in your next shower. You are standing in this booth arms and legs spread as she airbrushes you, blotting as she goes. No machines involved, it’s all done by Lee Anne and her airbrush thingy. And get this, she only charges $15 a session! Most salons in Charlotte charge between $30 & 45. Woohoo! Then you go back within 48 hours to do a follow up tan so it will last a good long time. I did the follow up on Saturday, just before we went to my in laws’ for dinner.

I walk in to greet my MIL and she says “Wow, you’ve changed colors!” And it is amazing. I’ve never had a tan in my life! I’m so fair I just burn, not tan. Plus I’m not too fond of cancer so I stay out of the sun. But now… My teeth look Ross white, my hands look great and my wedding rings finally contrast against my skin so you can see them now. Jon’s been having a ball with all the tan jokes. “Oh, don’t turn out the lights or I’ll lose you. Oh wait just smile and there you are!”

This was the first time we’d been out to Jon’s parents’ house since my emotional distress meltdown whatever you want to call it. So there was more talking and hugging and crying. But we quickly learned how to cry when you’re tan. My MIL looked at me and said “Oh no, your tan! Cry up- you’re getting stripes!”

While Jon and his Dad were grilling the brats for dinner Jon called me out to the patio. There at the end of the patio (it’s really long) was a family of 4 raccoons eating dog food my FIL puts out for them. He loves them. He tried naming them but once he used Bandit (natch) he ran out of raccoon names. They were so cute and they let us watch them for a good 15 minutes before they disappeared back into the darkness. They live in the storm drain at the end of my FIL’s yard where the creek is.

And for a mental update: I’m still not sleeping. It’s currently 1:38am and I should be sleeping but I can’t. Even with the 2 different meds that are supposed to help me sleep. The last few days have been mixed. Some good, but mostly not so good. The other night I woke up vomiting, and apparently had been vomiting in my sleep because I was lying in it. Nice. There was my poor little bite guard drowning in the remains of dinner. Jon held Ike back (Mommy’s a snack machine!) while I cleaned it up. And today was not so good. Anxiety attacks and what not. But on the whole it really is getting better. I’m just amazed that I still have tears left. And not just that one tear clowns have, but lots of them that come with racking sobs. I never knew I could be so sad about something so out of my control. And I’m coming to realize that I’ve made a mistake. Beyond talking with my husband and close family and a dear, dear friend, I’ve really been keeping it in. I mean, I know I blog about it, and I can’t tell you how much it helps to read such supportive feedback. But blogging is easier. It’s like I’m writing a report and I can do it and not cry while telling you guys about it all. Anyway, I’ve finally returned some phone calls from worried friends and got schooled in “don’t shut us out we love you and you don’t have to go through this alone”. I’d just been so embarrassed that I couldn’t handle this. But as it turns out I didn’t need to be embarrassed, at least not with the people who love me.

Now I’m just embarrassed about the uncontrollable crying over silly things: My nephew Jake giving me a hug and pucker kiss (he just learned that), finding out that the other bridesmaid in this wedding is a five foot nine inch African American beauty who apparently looks divine in champagne/taupe/nudepantyhose, and Extreme Makeover Home Addition- darn those deserving families and their grateful thank yous!

And if this keeps up I’ll be crying over all the stripes on my face from crying!

Ok, I’m going to take my tan self back to bed and close my tan eyelids and try and get some sleep. See ya’ll in the morning!

Me, Interrupted

Me, Interrupted

So yesterday morning I wake up after little to no sleep and shower and dress and go to the doctor for my one week follow up. To see how I’m doing with my new meds (I did go one whole day without crying!). I walk in and am in line digging out my insurance card when every frequent shopper card -and I have tons people because not a store in existence will let you shop without one- goes flying out of my wallet as if they all just sprouted wings. I didn’t even notice until 2 nice people bent down and started picking them up. So I joined in. Then the receptionist calls me over while I’ve got my arms full of loyalty and buy 3 tacos get one free type cards. I walk up and say

Hi I’m Shannon Blanketyblank and I have an appointment with Dr. Newman (names of the innocent have been changed).

Receptionist: Sure thing. clackety clack on the computer keyboard. Your appointment is today?

Me: Yes.

R: What time? clackety clack

Me: 9 am. Sorry I’m a little late I spent the last few minutes retreiving the contents of my purse from your lobby.

*Now is a good time to tell you that this entire time my right eye has been tearing and winking at this poor lady because I got excema cream in it while getting ready to go to the doctor’s office. Yep, excema and I can’t get pregnant. I know you’re jealous.

R: Who made this appointment for you? clackety clack

Me: I was here last Tuesday and I saw June Smith (nurse practicioner) and she told me to come back in a week at 9 am. Today. Now.

R: It seems that we have in our system that you saw June Smith on Wednesday and she made your appointment for Friday at 9. clackety clack

Me: Nooo. Ok look let me get the little card she gave me.

I now proceed to empty my purse on her counter trying to find the card that must have fallen out with the rest. I’m still winking and wiping away tears from my stinging eye that doesn’t have excema but is still being punished with Elidel cream.

Me: (all triumphant with big grin) Here! Look! The card! Today! 9am!

I thrust the card at her with the appointment written big as day on the side facing her. She turns the card around so I can see it and says:

See, that’s for the 8th. Friday. 8. Today is Tuesday the 5th. 5. Now I want you to write FRIDAY on the bottom of the card ok?

Me: big heavy sigh.

Other receptionist who is obviously holding in a smirk because she was listening in: We can get you in to see Dr. Newman tomorrow at 11.

Me: I can’t come tomorrow morning. I’m getting my hair done. I’m in a wedding next week.

Other receptionist who is now about to piss me off: OH! She said she’s getting her hair done. Hmmm.

Me: Look, I’ll just come back Friday.

1st Receptionist: THE EIGHTH.

Later that afternoon I come in from taking the pugs out to the back yard and see there is a message on the machine.

Shannon, this is Kindra, from Dr. Newman’s office. Just wanted to check in and make sure you’re ok. We heard about the, hm, incident this morning. And by the way, we moved up your appointment to 5pm tomorrow ok? THE SIXTH.

Apparently the entire medical community thinks I’m certifiably insane. My doctor agrees because he told me today, the sixth, at 5pm, that he doesn’t feel I’m ready to go back to work. He did say that I’m doing really well though and to stop being so hard on myself, that it is normal to feel this way, and that I’m responding well to the anxiety meds I’m on now. But I’m to stay out of work for another 2 weeks “to avoid any stressful situations”.

Dear Dr., the only people stressing me out right now work for you.

Bizarre telephone conversation between my Mom & I….

Bizarre telephone conversation between my Mom & I. Saturday, October 2nd, noonish.

S: Hey Mama, what are you doing?

M: Oh Shanny I’m watching the most interesting show.

S: What’s it called?

M: I don’t know. I think it’s new. It’s set in Pennsylvania so it must be a Northern show. I’ve been watching it for a couple of hours now and I can’t turn it off!

S: Well, what’s it about?

M: Oh, you’d love it. They take these 7 strangers, they all live in this really cute house. A really diverse group, like there’s the girl trying to get with the boys and a gay boy. A couple of them, MJ & Landon- so cute. Anyway, it’s just about how they get along. They argue and MJ just loves Vonda. He was in that little room with Landon talking right at the camera about how much he loves Vonda.

S: Mom, that’s the Real World.

M: You know it?

S: Yeah Mom, it’s been on Mtv for over 10 years.

M: So I guess I don’t have to tell you Karamo’s gay.